Anyway- Des wins- you'll get your prize at school, just remind me please
and here is what Thomas has to say:
Sup gang. If you've been paying attention to what Nicole's been posting, you'll know this isn't Nicole. In case you haven't been, or you're just joining us, howdy, I'm Thomas, and I'm doing a guest post while Nicole is off doing whatever it is she does that's keeping her from posting today. I know that so far Nicole has given lots and lots and lots of tips on how to be hot in ways that are physical, mental, spiritual, whateveral, so by this point you should be pretty darn hot by now, or at least implementing these methods and being on your way to being a severe hottie. I don't think that's an unreasonable expecation, man.
But. Despite all Nicole's advice and how hot it should have made you by now, I have yet ANOTHER bit that should make you EVEN HOTTER. I mean, this is a 31 day program and we're only up to Day, what, 7 or something? I dunno.
Today, we're gonna talk about yer ATTITUDE, the core aspect of one's personality, so important that Glenn Danzig himself saw fit to break from writing songs about old horror movies to point out to one particular person that they were gonna knock someone out if they didn't adjust their attitude. Seriously, you could have the most rockin' body, gorgeous hair, flawless skin, maybe even be super friggin' smart, but if you're a total bitch/dick/asshole/jerkwad/muzak-warbling wimp, nobody's gonna want to be anywhere near you except for people who also have really bad attitudes. And the thing about a bad attitude is, even if you have one, you don't want to be around other people who have them too.
The problem with having a bad attitude is that you don't always recognize that other people perceive you as being a dick. (Did I just thematically link this post to one of Nicole's older ones?* I think I did. You can praise me for it in the comments.) So what I'm gonna lay out for you is pretty straightforward; in fact, it's completely obvious and you probably think I'm insulting you by even saying it, but hey, I'm not the one with the bad attitude here. First, you need to think of things that piss you off about other people. For simplicity's sake, you may want to pick only one, no more than a handful of things. So you've got a brief list of bad personality traits, say one to five. Now meditate on the list. Think about times when you've done these things. You have almost certainly realized that you are a hypocrite, and even worse, you probably came up with a list of traits you complain about an awful lot. Oh no! You have a bad personality, or what you are now perceiving as a bad personality. But it's okay! All is not lost! Your friends and potential lovers may still view you as a pretty decent person, if flawed as most people tend to be. They may, you might say, still find you hot. But you know what's REALLY hot? Like, nearly NSFW kind of hot? REFORMATION. If a person, good or bad, tries to improve themselves by scrubbing out bad habits, man, the people around them start running out of the room because they don't want to be embarrassed by their SUPREME AROUSAL.
Now, sometimes what's considered a good attitude can vary from person to person. There are a lot of people I think are pretty cool that other people hate, but we feel those different ways about those people for the exact same reasons, you know? Which means you obviously can't please everybody. But then, thinking you can or should please everybody is a bad attitude to have. First, you should try to please yourself (bow chicka bow bow). Try to be the person you think you would like. Do good things, try to think in a positive manner. Try and conform yourself to your idea of what a good person is. By doing that you hottenize yourself in a specific manner. You start to attract the types of people who think you're a good person, which means you're attracting the types of people you want to be around. You're making it easier to find the types of people you want as friends and the types of people you want to date, if you're into that sort of thing. Dan Savage, author of the sex column Savage Love, always says that if you're looking for a certain type of person, don't worry about trying to please people who don't fit into that category. Granted, he typically uses it specifically to advise people with specific kinks and fetishes, but I think it can expand beyond that to the types of people you want in your life. In fact, I KNOW it can expand beyond that, and I'm sure Mssr. Savage would agree.
Sorry if this ran too long. I was just gonna write a quick paragraph, and then I got into a serious thing. And then I forgot how it was going to end. But now you're on your way to being EVEN HOTTER, as if that were even possible! You're gonna be so hot, people will set you on fire to cool you off! Might wanna keep some aloe nearby.
Sincerely love,
Thomas D. orton
* I asterisked this with the intention of putting in a footnote**, which I forgot to include.
ReplyDelete** This is not me saying, in response to Nicole's earlier statement about not knowing how people perceived her, that everyone perceives her as a dick***.
*** Though they might. I can only speak for myself.
Thomas, this was wonderful. Maybe you should stop writing sifi and team up with Nicole to start writing an advice column, compile it into a book, get published and then have your book made into a movie like those two who wrote he's just not that into you. :)
ReplyDeletehahahahahaha people just might percieve me in the way I don't know.
ReplyDeleteThis was soooo great Thomas!! I just had to work really late and early the next day and had too much to do to be able to focus on this. I loved your post it made me lol literally and it was so valid. you have made me proud
all i learned from this is that reformation is not safe for work and that everyone but nicole knows shes a dick... all in all i think this entry is great!! hahaha ;)
ReplyDelete